Tag Archives: girls

Smart and Sexy?

My idea of sexy is that less is more. The less you reveal the more people can wonder. ~Emma Watson

Earlier this year Emma Watson, of Harry Potter fame, was under fire for a photo in Vanity Fair. She was dressed in a sheer shirt with a crocheted shawl that draped suggestively, hiding enough of her breasts to make the copy permissible on most grocer’s shelves.

The arguments arose because Watson is often a voice for the feminist movement. Some leaders in the movement tweeted and shouted that showing your breasts silences your voice. Others returned the outrage with the argument that you can be both sexy and smart.

Being mostly uninterested in popular culture, I only noticed the kerfuffle last week. Since the photo didn’t startle me, I’m not sure why the article irritated me so much. I don’t really have a dog in this fight.

Except that I do.

I mentor young girls. I expect in a few years or so to have a couple of daughters-in-law. I have two nieces who are entering that stage of life when what they look like will speak louder than anything else.

And I believe both sides are right.

You can be smart and sexy. You also lose your voice when you allow sexy to speak.

The very idea of sexy is that you want to attract someone in an enticing manner. You want to be noticed in an exciting way.

Plain and simple, sexy is for the one you wish to have sex with.

Attractive, on the other hand, allows you to retain your voice. You can be noticed, will be noticed. But the first thought someone has of you is I’d like to get to know her better.

You have something to offer that lasts longer than a rumpus in the sack.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t send signals to someone that you are interested sexually. But don’t send them to the whole world.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings. Ezekiel 28:17 NIV


brothers-and-sisters-610472__180“But what Mom never told me is that along the way, you find sisters, and they find you. Girls are cool that way.” Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

When Matt switched from business to ministry as a career choice, a dear friend and long-time preacher’s wife gave me this advice: Make sure you have a very good friend that you do not go to church with.

While that is wise advice that I have taken to heart and followed many times, I have to say that I absolutely love the women at my current church. They are truly my sisters.

They text me, call me, email me, and poke me. We go to movies together, eat together, and laugh together. We cook together, teach together, and serve together. We pray together, cry together, and cling together.

When we moved here, these sweet sisters came to clean my house, paint rooms, and bring meals. They have learned many of my secrets and love me anyway. They help celebrate my birthdays and send me cards at Christmas. They have been in my home many times for many reasons.

One of the things I love most about them are their texts. While I was visiting my niece in Indiana there was a flurry of texting that involved a naked turkey with some lemon-seasoned breasts. Not to be outdone, another sister sent a picture of a turkey chilling in the sink with a remote and a drink.

Before we headed home for Christmas, Matt made a comment during his sermon that put him in the doghouse. I sent a picture to the girls of me giving him the cold shoulder in the car. They responded with tactics they take when a husband needs a little “discipline”. I especially liked “Ask him senseless questions over and over.” Another suggested I poke him with my knitting needles. It was all in fun. I think.

So while God didn’t give me blood sisters, he did bless me with soul sisters. And I love them to the moon and back.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 ESV